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Dating Sucess Strategies:
   10 Dating Lessons To Spice Up Your Social Life

by April Masini

If you are ready to start winning in the dating world, follow this simple strategy for success:

Lesson 1: First Impressions

They are immediate, long lasting, and usually permanent. Regardless of how great you are, and no matter how sweet you can be once someone gets to know you, the reality is, your dating success will be based almost entirely upon the other person's initial sense of who and what you are.

Lesson 2: If you want the part, look the part

Statistics show that how we appear speaks more about us, and is more important, than what we say verbally.

Lesson 3: Act the part

It is a fact that in our personal affairs, as in all our business dealings, we sell ourselves first. Poor attitude, image, and behavior will adversely affect your dating success, just as it will negatively affect your success in business.

Lesson 4: Be the part.

The initial impression you make on a prospective date predicts whether she (or he) will take the time to get to know you. Dating, as well as business, is all about sales. You must think of yourself as a product and the person you want to date as the buyer.

Lesson 5: Dating is about sales and sales is a numbers game

If you want to multiply your success immediately in dating (or just about anything else), learn, understand, and embrace the concept behind "the numbers game." Accept and follow these tenets:

1. You are a product

2. You are the product's salesperson, its packager, and its advertiser.

3. The person you're trying to attract is your customer. They make their buying decisions based upon presentation, packaging, and advertising.

4. The world's best salespeople don't have a 100 percent sales rate, a 75 percent rate, a 50 percent or even a 25 percent rate. The world's best salespeople are lucky to maintain a 10 percent sales rate and count themselves lucky if one out of every ten "pitches" results in a sale.

Lesson 6: Confidence = success

The number one quality both men and women seek in a date or a mate is confidence. Confidence is also the key attribute that all professional salesmen must possess in order to be successful. People do not buy products or services from someone who has no confidence in themselves or the products they represent.

Lesson 7: Establish a goal

A confident person is one with a plan and a goal. What's yours?

Lesson 8: Know your target market and give them what they want

Understand to whom you are trying to sell yourself and what they are interested in buying.

Lesson 9: Analyze the competition and do things better than they do

Just as you would study a competitor in business or a rival sports team, study your dating competition if you want to win!

Lesson 10: Take action and follow through

Deal with your fear of rejection. Stop investing your energy and self-worth in outcomes. Instead of thinking of 'misses' as 'failures,' think of them as 'practice shots'. Dating is a process. Stop placing so much importance on what the person you are interested in thinks of you. After all, you don't know if you would even like them once you get to know them, do you?

Set small goals and accomplish them, one by one. Get passionate about your goals and your life. Enthusiasm is contagious, if you are excited about your life, people will be excited about being with you.

Dress for success. Always put your best foot forward And don't forget to perfect your sales pitch. If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same result.

Lesson 10: Live as if there may be no tomorrow

Realize there are no guarantees, no dress rehearsals, and (usually) no second chances. Make each day "your day," one in which you did all that you could do.

About the Author: Nicknamed "the new millenium's Dear Abby" by the media, April Masini is author of the best-selling book "Date Out of Your League", and is the publisher of the provocative dating and relationship online magazine, April writes what Dear Abby will never print and what your shrink doesn't have the guts to tell you!

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-- May Direct Answers
     from Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers appears in newspapers on six continents.

-- Direct Answers by Wayne and Tamara

From Les:

"Good Day. Way back in 2006 my wife had a dinner date with an ex-boyfriend. At that point we had been married three years. Two weeks later I accidently read an email she wrote a friend. The email was about the dinner date and what happened.

They kissed, held hands and hugged in the sweetest way. Though it happened eight years ago, it's always in my mind. I picture them making sweet that night, and question why she did it with no regrets.

I want to overcome my feelings, but how?"

Wayne & Tamara's Answer:

"Les, the problem with cheating is the unfaithful party will never be sorry enough to stop the faithful party from feeling the way they do. So what are you left with? She chose to do something that hurt you this much.

That's the price of staying. You don't trust her and she thinks it's in the past. She doesn't want to hear about it. That's the difference between the victim and their cheater.

For the victim it is never in the past because they wanted a life with someone who would never do this. People think there is no price to pay when you stay with a cheater. There is a price to pay every day."

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801
or email:

Read an interview with Wayne and Tamara at: