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How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship
by Robert Corter

Staying in love is challenging enough without added complications. A relationship is put to the test when a couple is separated for a time (with miles of land or oceans in between).

The question on how to survive a long distance relationship may be foremost in the couple's worried minds. Both man and woman are probably filled with personal fears - of love waning and of possible lies untold. Carrying on a long distance love affair entails sacrifices and a lot of understanding. It would be difficult to keep what you can't manage. Trusting your partner is key. A list of tips are provided below on handling such a situation --

Tip #1: Write

Keep each other abreast with what's happening on your side of the world. Writing can be the perfect outlet to release frustrations and deep feelings. You can write just about anything. Write about your work, write about the weather, write about your day and write about your plans.

Beyond snail mail, you now have the option of sending your messages through other ways as: email, Facebook, Twitter and other virtual tools.

Tip #2: Call

How to survive a long distance relationship? Schedule time to speak with each other. Beyond traditional phone lines, use other cost-effective technology tools as Skype. In this case, you need only to have: a PC, internet connection and Skype account. Having this option is especially important when you want to personally greet your significant other on her birthday or your anniversary. No matter where you are, you can simply log-on, connect and communicate.

Tip #3: Send Photos and Videos

You will both want to know how the other is faring away from home. Invest in a good digital camera. Upload and share your normal days and special events. Keep your partner interested in your activities as you share them in pictures or videos. Make her laugh or cry as you narrate a recent happening. She can play the video back again and again if she misses you. She can browse through your photos when she needs to remember.

Tip #4: Visit

If your work allows you to go on leave, do so. Time it when a special occasion is about to take place, such as Christmas or Valentine's Day. Surprise her with your visit. Bring a gift from home that she is sure to appreciate. Refrain from sad discussions when together. Enjoy each other's physical company when you can. During the limited time you have together, share memories to last you until the next visit.

Tip #5: Move

The best solution to surviving a long distance relationship is to move where she's at. If living without her is torture, why stay away? Pop the question, make her yours. Take the next step in your relationship. If you are headed there anyway then what are you waiting for? You may or may not lose her - but why gamble?

How to survive a long distance relationship takes a lot of effort. You can and will make the effort if your feelings are real. You can and will make sound decisions to keep your love alive.

About the author:
Robert Corter is one of Isnare's expert authors. If you are looking for information on how to survive a long distance relationship, click on the link. Or visit

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-- April Direct Answers
     from Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers appears in newspapers on six continents.

-- Direct Answers by Wayne and Tamara

From Danica:

"I am 18. My ex-boyfriend and I met seven years ago. We did everything together but there was no mutual attraction until two years ago, when he revealed he had feelings for me.

I did not feel attracted to him in any way. I only viewed him as a friend or brother. However, he didn't give up on me and kept trying. This past year something changed and I viewed him differently. I realized I did have feelings for him, and after awhile, we began a relationship.

At first, the relationship was wonderful and amazing; I guess it was the "honeymoon" period. Then things went sour as we focused more on a sexual relationship, rather than a personal one. We fought a lot about small things. Another stressor was that in six months we were going to be moving three hours away from each other.

Distance was not a problem for me as I believe love conquers all.

Moving on; months passed and our relationship continued. A month ago to this day, he broke up with me, asking if we could just be friends. I tried moving on, I tried ignoring him, I tried praying, and nothing seemed to help.

I thought by now I wouldn't still have feelings for him, but I can't make them go away. I think I'm okay until I see him in person, and then all the feelings come back. I know I probably haven't been smart about this, as I continued to text him and call him, and at some points, even begged for another chance.

He says he still loves me and there is still an attraction there, but he just doesn't want to be in a relationship again, nor does he desire to try. He thinks we can go back to being "best friends" like nothing ever happened.

I want to be friends, but it is too hard. I don't know what to do. I just feel if someone loves you as much as I do him, you shouldn't let go of that. What should I do? Ignore him? Move on?"

Wayne & Tamara's Answer:

"Danica, in 1527, the Spanish conquistador Pizarro drew a line in the sand and dared men to follow him. Pizarro tempted them with the promise of riches, and that is what allowed him to plunder Peru.

Your boyfriend got you to cross not one line, but two. The first line was the one that told you: he is my friend, more like a brother to me. Having him as a boyfriend would be way too weird.

The second line was sex. When a woman has sex with a man, especially if it's her first time, her physiology tells her it's love. But often, it's just sex. He pushed you across the line in which you had no interest in him, and the line of intimacy which made you think, "This must be love."

Now he wants to go back to being friends. He may even have a little revulsion, the revulsion of having sex with someone who is more like a sister to him. So he tells you, "Erase, erase."

There was nothing for him to lose by saying, "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon." But that's when you should have said no. Many women go through this with the man who badgers and badgers and wears them down.

About the rightwing pundit Rush Limbaugh, an acquaintance of ours once said, "You listen to him long enough, and he starts making sense." Of course. You listen to anything long enough, and it wears you down. You start to believe.

When a guy keeps making you say no, it means he doesn't respect your no. You should be angry he could do this to you and then want things to be as they were. When others get us to cross a line, it's usually to do something we know we shouldn't."

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801
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