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12 Ways to Show Your Partner You Care
by Cucan Pemo

There are hundreds of articles and websites devoted to making sure that your partner knows that you love them. However, many of these articles are filled with trite expressions of love that seem clichéd when they're overused. To really show your partner that you care, you need better guidelines and better advice. Here is some advice that you can actually use.

Make coffee/tea in the morning

When you're both waking up in the morning, one of the first things on your minds is probably some sort of drink to get you going. One of the best ways to help get your days off to a great start is to make coffee for your girlfriend or wife. Without having to go to the lengths that breakfast in bed goes to, you will show that the first thing in the morning that you think of is her.

Do a little cleaning

After making coffee in the morning, why not straighten up a little before you head to the shower or to wherever you need to go? You don't have to get out a scrub brush, but taking the time to throw the dishes in the dishwasher and scoop the litter pan can be helpful.

Notice things that are missing

One of the ways to really impress a woman is to do something without being asked. When you've running low on toilet paper, be sure to run out to get some. Running low on milk? Stop at the store on the way home. This shows that you are committed to making your lives run smoothly.

Ask if there's anything that you can do

Many women have mental lists of things that need to be done every day, but will only let you know about them when the list becomes too long. Instead of waiting for the argument that follows, why not ask if there's anything you can do? It saves both of you time and makes a woman feel appreciated for the things that she has done in the past.

Fill up the gas tank

Something that you many guys might not think about is a woman's car. Most women hate to fill up their gas tanks - especially when they're heading to work or when it's raining or snowing - so why not fill it up for her when you notice that it's low? It's simple and certainly something that will be appreciated.

Write something

You don't need to be a professional writer in order to show a woman that you care about her. But when you're giving her a card for some occasion, be sure to include your own words in it as well. Women sometimes like to save cards and will cherish the words that you wrote over anything else.

Try to make day dates

Because you're both busy at work, you might want a little break from time to time. Why not make a date in the middle of your work days? Meet for lunch or for dinner once per month to break up your routines and remind each other that there is more to your lives than your paycheck.

Get to know their friends

A woman's friends are a representation of the way that she is when you're not around. If you want to understand her, try to get to know her friends. Your wife or girlfriend will appreciate the way that you show that you care about other important people in her life.

Get to know her family

Just like her friends, a woman's family is the group of people that came long before you. Even if you're not the best fit for their tastes, try to find some common ground that you can share.

Ask if something's wrong

When you notice that something is different about your partner, don't ignore it. Ask if anything is wrong and let her know that you are willing to listen to her and help her if you can.

Remember anniversaries and birthdays

There are plenty of calendar services that can remind you of important days, so there's no reason that you shouldn't be bringing an appropriate gift or bunch of flowers when she's expecting it.

Celebrate the everyday

Realize that anniversaries and birthdays aren't the only times that you can celebrate your relationship - why not surprise her with a short note or a small wildflower every now and then? Expense isn't the point - it's the expression that matters.

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Sexy Gifts for the Love in Your Life

-- July Direct Answers
     from Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers appears in newspapers on six continents.

-- Direct Answers by Wayne and Tamara

From Luke:

"Dan, my best friend, is dating Dawn and they have been together seven months. He is like a brother to me. He recently revealed plans to propose to Dawn, and he has officially asked her father's blessing. It is likely he will propose before the end of the year.

They dated briefly a year or two ago, but it ended when Dan discovered Dawn cheated on him. Ultimately they repaired their problems and dove headfirst back into a relationship, with the understanding this time they were going to commit fully or not commit at all.

Dan appears to be happy with the direction his life is heading. However, not all of Dan's friends approve of his relationship with Dawn, and even some of his family members have expressed reservations. I, too, struggle with the rapid rate at which they seem to be approaching marriage. I sometimes doubt Dawn's authenticity.

This past weekend while spending time with friends from college, Claire, a close friend of Dan's and mine, informed me Dawn said unsettling things about her relationship with Dan, and possibly cheated on him while out of town for work.

Claire learned Dawn met a guy at a bar and ended up sharing wine in her hotel room and talking to him all night. This, in itself, is not necessarily something Dan would need to know. However, it is not the end of the story. After telling me about the guy from the bar, Claire said she heard Dawn say she is not attracted to Dan, but feels he can give her what she wants in life.

Unfortunately, I haven't heard or seen anything firsthand. Typically, when presented with information that could be disruptive or hurtful, I stay out of the situation and let things work themselves out without my intervention. I am struggling with that option in this case.

If I stay out of the situation, it is likely nothing will be said and Dan will get engaged to Dawn. If I share this information with Dan, he will be hurt and take out his anger on Dawn, the potential offender, or me, the hesitant messenger.

Is there a right answer to this problem?

I would want a friend to tell me if I were in a similar situation, but part of me feels I was never meant to have this information, and maybe I should stay out of their relationship, trusting that what is meant to be, will be."

Wayne & Tamara's Answer:

"Luke, I was once sitting on the side of a small lake when a dragonfly flew straight in the water an arm's length away. I watched it thrash around for a minute or two before reaching in the water and rescuing it.

I placed it on a flagstone to dry out. Five minutes later, fully recovered, it flew straight into the water at the exact same spot. A bass knifed to the surface and swallowed it whole. Something like that is going on here, and you probably can't stop it.

We always say firsthand knowledge carries with it an obligation to act, but you don't have firsthand knowledge. What you have is hearsay.

Those with firsthand knowledge cannot unburden themselves by telling you what they have heard. They cannot make you the fall guy. If they believe Dan should know what they know, it's up to them to tell.

Do car manufacturers have female breasts to sell you? No. But they want to move men from lookers to customers, and sometimes in their ads they use breasts to do it. In the same way, it could be that Dawn is moving Dan through sex and "I love you's." Is this how she moves him? Or is she sincere?

Dan has firsthand knowledge of Dawn. He knows Dawn cheated on him. He looks into her eyes. Let him decide whether to dive into the water in the same spot."

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801
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